


ain’t like that

by Szekeres_Szilveszter



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Jealousy, Love Triangles, M/M, Requited Love, Requited Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24009532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Szekeres_Szilveszter/pseuds/Szekeres_Szilveszter
Summary: ‘i gotta say, ya don’t realize how much ya like someone ‘til they’re gone.’
Relationships: Aleksander I Pavlovich | Alexander I of Russia/Napoléon I de France | Napoléon Bonaparte, Napoleon Bonaparte/Al Capone (Night at the Museum)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	ain’t like that

napoleon stares.

al does not notice.

he stares at him from faraway, from close up, from right next to him. he must look up because of their comedic height differences, but that had never discouraged him. if anyone noticed, they would say napoleon looks like a puppy, or a very mesmerized victim of a hypnotist, when he stares at al.

it’s all very bittersweet. al’s mere existence makes napoleon happy to a crazy extent; unfortunately, napoleon cannot work up the nerve to take their friendship to a whole new level - to be exact, a relationship.

until a new exhibit is put on display in the museum, formally known as alexander i of russia. yeah, _that_ alexander. treaties of tilsit and all that mumbo jumbo. al would be dead before he could remember anything significant about the dweeb in his high school history class. but alexander’s lack of importance (to al, at least) isn’t the only downfall to his arrival. now, the moment he lays eyes on alexander, it’s as if napoleon forgets about al. 

memories inflame the general’s mind. conversations, letters, activities. the fact that alexander had once written that, if napoleon was a woman, they’d certainly be married, particularly made his heart flutter. oh, how they had longed to run away together!

truth be told, napoleon is still not a woman, but he knows that it likely won’t matter. 

and, unfortunately for al, it doesn’t.

they get together instantly; napoleon has a boyfriend now. they can be found strolling through the museum, arm in arm or hand in hand, both speaking heavily-accented french. (alexander’s native tongue was russian and napoleon’s was corsican.) napoleon’s mood had also improved drastically, no longer subjected to al’s grating personality, his frustrating shenanigans, or the ‘20s american phrases he was unable to understand. in truth, the moment alexander arrived, al was left in the dust, and the two generals only became closer. 

al is jealous. damnit, he’s _furious_.

he hardly sees napoleon anymore. where has that little man gone, following him around no matter what he did, no matter what he said? hell, they haven’t even spoken for three whole weeks, going on four! 

‘i gotta say, ya don’t realize how much ya like someone ‘til they’re gone.’

they’re lounging in the hall of greek and roman statues. alexander is off hanging around some new friends while napoleon and al chat - something they haven’t done in awhile.

‘i agree,’ napoleon says. ‘i had not even thought of alexander in years, and now that he has returned, he is all i can think about.’

he wants to tell napoleon to shut up. ‘yeah, that’s - uh, that’s good. i’m glad ya found someone, y’know?’

‘thank you.’

‘well,’ he says, a little awkwardly, ‘i’m gonna head out. probably see what amelia’s up to…’ he fights the instinctive urge to ask napoleon to tag along.

‘you are leaving already?’ napoleon asks, confused. ‘we have not spoken in weeks. i want to at least catch up.’

he can’t help the bite in his words. ‘ya don’t needa talk to me. don’tcha have yer _boyfriend_ for that?’ 

napoleon is rightfully taken aback. ‘what are you saying, al?’

‘ya said it yourself: we ain’t spoken in weeks, ‘n who’s fault is that? certainly ain’t mine.’

he sighs loudly, rubbing the side of his face with a hand before fixing al with a contemptuous stare. ‘you are so childish…’

‘yer the one who’s been ignorin’ me.’

napoleon sizes him up, this little facade of a glare in his eyes, and then smiles teasingly. ‘you are jealous,’ he says purposefully, amused by the whole thing.

al is less amused. ‘i ain’t jealous! yer the one who dropped me once ya found someone better!’

‘you are jealous of alexander,’ he says. ‘you are jealous of - ah, how do you say? - you are jealous of my _boyfriend_.’

‘now, don’tcha go makin’ this out to be somethin’ it ain’t, y’hear? i ain’t like that.” he crosses his arms, his gray face a few shades darker. ‘yer my friend.’

‘what do you purpose i do, then? this is a foreign world to him! i cannot abandon him just to run off with you and leave him in the dark. you are my friend but he is something more. i hardly understand why you are being like this if you are, as you say, “ain’t like that.”’

napoleon is not being serious, that much is obvious enough. his suspicions of al having a little crush on him have been eroded over the years by al’s stubborn, prideful insistence that he does _not_ , that he isn’t like _that_. by now, napoleon only teases him about their closeness and that’s all it is - teasing. napoleon did have a thing for al - who wouldn’t? - but he’s not one to go barking up the wrong tree. he was thankful when alexander made an appearance so he could finally _and_ successfully root for the right team without any sort of anxieties or second-guesses. 

‘so what is this? yer gonna devote yourself to him ‘n jus’ leave me in the dust?’

‘i…’

that’s when al walks away and disappears down the hall, leaving napoleon to sit there by himself, contemplative. 

**Author's Note:**

> question: should i write more chapters?


End file.
